N is for Neighborly

To be neighborly is to think about those around you and to help them. The opposite of neighborly is holding enmity, or treating others as enemies.

In the old days, according to my dad, there used to be block parties. Neighbors knew neighbors. The helped one another and celebrated together. When I was little, before video tapes said it was against the law, we used to put on movies and invite the neighborhood kids to watch. But what modern people tend to see in being neighborly tends to come out as an episode from Chuck.



Or they think of the people in Edward Scissorhands.



But that is the commercial view of being neighborly. A caricature.

When I was a teenager and Mr. Roger's Neighborhood was still on TV, kids used to sarcastically joke, "Would you be my neighbor?" But I think all of those kids had at one point loved that TV show and wished there was more friendliness in our neighborhoods.

What does it really mean to be neighborly? Honestly?

I think the best example is Biblical, in this case. It has been said that the first great commandment is to love God, and the second to love your neighbor. Then someone asked Jesus, "Who is my neighbor?"

And he told a story, a parable, explaining clearly what a neighbor was. It is called the Parable of the Good Samaritan.


What a lot of people don't know about the parable was that a Samaritan was considered hateful to the Jews of Jesus's day. It was the result of longstanding animosity. So the parable isn't just about some nice guy helping out another guy. It was about someone reaching across cultural barriers that were so ingrained, helping someone who would be considered an enemy.

It reminds me of this book I read recently about a couple who had survived WWII. Surviving Hitler One was a Jewish born woman who ended up surviving Auschwitz and Bergen-Belsen, and the other was a Norwegian/Swedish man who was part of the Waffen-SS and somehow got out of harsh punishment. They met in Sweden and got married. Two lonely souls on opposite sides able to reconcile and forgive.

One story in the book touched me the most. There was this one time where the lady, Agnes, was stuck in Bremen as part of a women's work camp. She noticed her guards' suffering. Especially one woman. One day, she walked up to and spoke with that lady guard - who had just resolved a moment ago to take her own life because she had been suckered into joining the Nazi army and it had basically ruined her life. The guards were not allowed to speak with their captives and the captives were not allowed to speak to the guards, but Agnes did anyway. And in that brief moment of the war, she comforted her enemy. And it was not the only time, either.

I think one of my favorite scriptures is "But I say to you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which spitefully use you, and persecute you;"...not so much because I have mastered it  (because I have not), but that is it what I aspire to.

Being neighborly is seeing that everyone needs help and everyone needs love. It is seeing a need and taking care of it in the best of our capacities. As with the story of the Jewish woman and the SS solider, she met him when simply taking him soup when he looked ill. He had worked at the factory she worked. It was nothing expensive. Nothing fancy. And no fanfare.

The opposite of neighborly is acting as an enemy.
Or to put it plainly, enjoying the pain of others.

I think this is why I don't like war movies. Besides all the shouting, blood, and violence, I really don't like how quickly people take sides and begin to willfully hate the 'bad guys'. Hollywood has created this good-guy/bad-guy dichotomy... which on the whole is fictitious.

“War is a game in which the best men are sometimes worsted.”—Mustapha Kemal (Turkish victor)—

I remember when a friend/co-worker of mine showed the movie "Windtalkers" to a group of Chinese students...and they cheered for every Japanese soldier that died. And I thought, how awful. So much hate...

When I was young I had made a decision that has shaped my life and the choices in it. I decided to eliminate the word enemy from my vocabulary. I would never used that word to describe another person again.  I was born in, and grew up during the Cold War. But when watching our president and Gorbachav try to make peace, I thought what a good thing it was. I had later gone to Russia as a missionary, hoping to share the things that I loved and made my life happy. I met all types there. Friendly people and hateful people. And one time we held a conference in a secondary school where on the walls they had a mural of how to deal with a nuclear war - very 1950's style. And I thought, "They were more scared of us than we were of them."
I don't know if that is true or not, but such fear was something awful to me. I later ended up teaching English in China. And as I listen to people talk about other countries in such hate-filled terms, I am made sad.



So...what can men (And women) do against so much reckless hate?

Being neighborly is a godly trait. Why? Even God gives people who profane his name a second chance. Let's used the story of Saul of Tarsus as an example. He helped people persecute the followers of Jesus Christ. And Christ himself visited him and gave him his second chance. He helped Saul become Paul - one of the greatest missionaries of all Christendom, by turning an 'enemy' into a friend.

N  is for Neighborly.

War on Science? Really? A quick one.

I saw in the library on a magazine cover an article about "the war on science". Then it lists all the things it means: such as evolution and climate change - which have been under argument for years. Then it adds, the moon landing (giving the impression of paranoid fanaticism). After that it puts in vaccinations and genetically modified food--debatable issues as not everyone is so sure they are healthy. But what keeps going through my head is that there is no war on science. Real science is something that allows questions always. That is the nature of science, that  you can ask questions and seek answers. But I have notice that scientific conclusions have become almost dogmatic--like a religion. And a scientist the priest of this new religion. And those who don't believe are the equivalent of heretics. Looking at the last two especially, vaccinations and GMO's, the issue isn't really science at all but about those who produce the vaccinations and are demanding more and more aggressive application of such vaccinations...and the GMO's which, to be frank, is more like Mad Science than real science. Frankenstein's monster becomes Frankenstein's Fruit and Veggies.

Here's the thing, I don't think science so much is in question as is the implementation of said science. For example, I have no doubts anyone had landed on the moon. That was just a silly addition to begin with. As for climate change, which used to be named Global Warming, I personally think climate is changing, has always been changing, and will continued to change. Does this mean we should not care about polluting our environment? No. I think we should not make things dirty and disgusting. I am all for not dumping toxins into drinking water and for not making a mess of our Earth. Those who are upset about 'climate change' or 'Global warming' or whatever are really concerned about one thing.

 $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Yep. That one thing.

As for those who want GMO's and think people are being too critical about it, are also thinking about that one thing.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Yeah.
And as for Vaccinations. Those same people who make the vaccines are making a ton of one thing.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

So. The other debates may be fueled by personal bias, the need not to get sick on what we eat or inject into our bodies, and whatnot.

As for the moon landing...why does it matter?

M is for Modest

I think there is a lot of controversy over the meaning of the word Modest. In our modern age, it is highly misunderstood. Most days people are talking about dressing in a manner that does not arouse sexual feelings in others...but that really isn't what modesty is. Modesty is behaving in a manner that is not attention-getting. Basically, the opposite of Modest is Attention-Seeking.

"Modesty can simply mean avoiding the extremes in language, dress and behavior," according to eHow.com. And according to eHow.com, modesty has four types: Attitude, Behavior, Dress and Grooming, and Language. I like their categories. They say a modest attitude is the opposite of Pride.

In our day and age, society has become so full of attention-seekers. We want to be seen. We have YouTube (which isn't an altogether bad thing), selfies, and photo-bombing. When I was a kid, we always glared at the one child who would jump into a photo and destroy picture with their Look-at-me! I'm most important here, behavior. Ball-hogs and show-boaters were disdained. It was called 'tooting your own horn.'

A modest person does not brag. Ever.
Mrs. Elton is an example of an immodest woman. Not in dress. But she is immodest in manner. Rude, loud, abrupt, and without proper manners.

Now I know some people might find this archaic, as this is the Pre-Victorian era. But if we are to talk about Modesty, we need to separate clothing from manner.

Modest behavior is the difference between being polite and rude. It is not being trodden underfoot by others, but not treating others badly either.

Modesty in Dress and Gooming is more about being clean without all the extemporaneous jewelry, tattoos, or extreme hair styles. It is about being well-cared for. The kind of clothes that don't shout out at people.

Now I love crazy T-shirts. Yet at the same time, they are without a doubt immodest in that they draw attention. But think about. If you put writing across a woman's breasts, that is where people will stare. If you put it across her butt, same thing. It says, LOOK AT MY BUTT!!!!

Same with dying hair. I used to think it'd be awesome to have blue hair. And large earrings. And what about too much make up? Basically, being tacky is not being modest.

The fact is, what you wear says something about you. It sends a message. Let's post a few messages clothing sends.



 

says 'go away.'

says 'Listen to me.'

says, "Quirky with attitude"



Says "just your average Joe"
(even though Vince Vaugh isn't)

So let's talk about modesty in clothing now, since it will come up. I took a fashion merchandising course when I was in high school, as I was considering a carrier (briefly) in fashion design. The fact is, I love fabric, and making things - especially costumes. I soon realized that costume design was more up my alley, and fashion design most certainly wasn't. Mostly, I hated the merchandising part of it. Money annoys me. Handling it especially. And Marketing...ugh. It made me feel like a prostitute. Because marketing is all about selling one's product, and often oneself. There is a lot of 'horn tooting' in this case. But one of the things I took away from the course was that regardless of what people say about being able to wear anything, clothing design has many purposes. For example, ever wonder why the women on the red carpet always wear clothes that barely cover them at all, while the men wear these fully-covering 3-piece suits? Why not the men wear next to nothing at all and the women wear 3-piece suits? There is an emotional reaction and social reaction to what you wear. That is a fact.

Notice in this video the message they are trying to share. However, the men are still more dressed? Why? The double standard really bugs me.


That aside, fashion itself, has purposeful design. All design requires an element of visual flow - that is where it leads your eye to go. This is done in advertising, in designing and arranging furniture in a home, in famous artworks, and also in clothing. Lots of design in clothing gears to make the wearer look stronger, thinner, or (and people know this) sexier. Just like the Islamic clothing for women is make to make them look formless, the opposite exists to make people look at cleavage, at butts, and at other body parts.

Let's take the power suit first and compare it to Don Juan (via Johnny Depp *sigh*).

 

Ok. Both are wearing V necks. One is more covered than the other. The guy in the power suit with the tie is dressed so you look at his face. The other guy... well, his chest is where the eye is drawn.

Let's do women now. These are all business suits in varying degrees of V-neck. And the last one just sexy woman.
  
 Where is your eye drawn? Be honest. The more open the shirt gets, the more your eyes are talking to her breasts. Is it no wonder women don't get as much respect in the work place when choosing a Don Juan way of dressing?

And lastly... Language.
Modest language, besides not bragging, is without expletives. That is to say, no cursing because it is like dropping a dirty diaper in the middle of a dinner table. I know using words that have strong references to violent sexual acts, excrement, and sexual body parts is becoming more and more the norm. . . But really... is it necessary? When I was a kid, I had a teacher who said that person who swears has a really low vocabulary. There is a plentiful supply of descriptive words in the English language that would work much better.

A perfect example to leave you with...


But it isn't just not swearing that makes modest language. It is language without loudness. It is speaking in a manner that is respectful (see the example from Emma again). Respect is a trait that is also sadly lost in mainstream society and film. I guess people think it is funnier to be rude and immodest. But it is sad and uncivil. And in being uncivil...civilization crumbles.

M is for Modest.

L is for Loving

It has been a while. And this virtue is also obvious - or I think it is anyway.
The opposite of Loving is Hateful.

There is this amazing scripture from the Bible that sums this up really well. "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" 1 John 4:20

Also, "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." 1 John 4:8

In plain English, if you say you are a believer in God, but you express hate towards others, then you are a liar and don't really believe in God - or really don't believe God, to be more specific.

But what if you are atheist? Is that an excuse to be hateful? Or what if your god is a blood-lusting kind of god, like that of the Aztecs or the famous Baal who had the parents sacrifice their own children? What then?

Well, let's just say, lacking love and being filled with hate is not something good. And most people, God-believing or not, recognize that.

What hate does to the human psyche and to human life... let's look up a few scientific facts about that, shall we?

Here's a Huffington Post article called "Toxic Emotions Can Lead to Serious Health Problems"
And one from the Gilead Institute of America called, "Your Mind Can Make You Sick"
And another one called "How Hatred Transforms Your Brain"
The American Psychological Society had one about "Revenge and the People who Seek It"

Then, of course are the hate crimes...
"The Impact of Hate Violence on Victims"
"The Psychology of Hate Crimes" Pdf

But really, we can see the damage of hate by simply how unpleasant a person who hates is. Hateful people do not attract others unless they are charismatic. Hateful people who gain followers practice what is known as commiseration. That is, getting together to complain or share in misery. But the core of it is Misery.

Really.

For example, perpetuators of hate generally choose an individual or group to blame for their misery. For example: Hitler and the Nazi party blamed the Jews, then later expanded it to anything Non-German. The KKK blame those who are "Blacks" or "mixed-race". The group ISIS blames Israel and America. But these groups created and some still create misery. All the while claiming to have or be one kind of superiority or another.

Ironic, really....
Since I always imagined a superior group of people being the kindest sort. Like someone who lifts people up, helps people improve, does not use force, and everyone gravitates towards them because they want to be like them.

So, Loving...
What does that mean?
In our world today, people confuse love with sex. So, to be clear - the Love we are talking about here has nothing to do with sex - at all. This kind of love is concern for others' needs. Individualistic rather than general. It is personal, and kind. It is the kind of love that moves people to compassion and forgiveness. It is the kind that does not look on outward appearance. It is nonjudgmental. It is patient. It is the essence of virtue. It is the difference between a peck on the cheek and a deep warm hug of a friend.

L is for Loving