Paradigm

The word does not look like how it is spelled. I'm a little dyslexic, so whenever I read complex weird words, I sometimes mix up the letters and add sounds that aren't there. So I used to read the word paradigm like pad-a-grim and not pair-a-dime. It confused me like the word pachyderm. The word might as well be an elephant, you know. Big and awkward.

The funny thing about this word is I had never heard of it until my father insisted I read 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. I thought the book was a dry read, like Who Moved My Cheese. I know they are intended to be instructive, but the abstract concepts in both books are not the kinds of things one reads once. They must be taken in bites and studied over the course of time.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is that I am sure everyone in the world has a mindset. A paradigm is, according to Wikipedia, "a distinct concept or thought pattern". The first time I heard the word used in a 'real life' conversation was while watching Sahara. Trailer. One of the characters (Al) mentions to the other (Dirk) that quite possibly he needs to change his decision making paradigm.

Now, one of the things I learned while living in other countries and studying foreign languages is that language is wrapped in culture. And not just culture, but a way of thinking. A paradigm. Some words are just not translatable. For example, there is this Mandarin word guan xi. The closest English word to it is slang--brownnosing. But it does not mean exactly that either. It describes an intrinsic social relationship in Chinese culture between people whom you desperately need relations with in order to survive.

Ok... so again, why bring this up?

Religion is a mindset. It isn't just a set of beliefs. It is how a person thinks. This is why people use the word Conversion when they talk about a person changing religions. It requires change. And not a simple change like you change socks. It is like chemical conversion. Or, as one leader in my church put it, like a cucumber becoming a pickle. I know, funky analogy, but hear it out. For a pickle to be preserved so it does not rot it has to undergo saturation in a solution of vinegar, certain spices, and salt for a duration of time (here's a real recipe, I'm over-simplifying for time purposes). Cucumbers will rot without this process. Likewise, if one truly becomes converted to a religion, it is not the same as simply declaring you like this new faith now. A true convert of any faith saturates themselves in the doctrines, practices, and mindset of the religion. There is a change of behavior.  By the way, this is why I don't believe in death-bed repentance. To me, true conversion is more than just saying you have accepted something. It involves a change of character along with a change of lifestyle.

This is my paradigm.

Here's one more thing to think about. I once heard someone say, "A person convinced against his will is still of the same mind." I don't recall who said it, but it is paraphrased from something Dale Carnegie said in his book How to Win Friends and Influence People--a great read by the way, and not as cheesy as the title sounds (he was the Stephen R. Covey of his time era).

Anyway, a person convinced against his will is of the same opinion still... yeah, I think that is closer to what he had said....anyway, think about it. No one really wins an argument. What you get at the end are two angry people still of the same mind. So this blog is not to argue for anything. It is, however, to show my paradigm. Which is why I won't respond to comments.

Something else I learned growing up is that people tend to bring to an event (or conversation or reading or movie...what-have-you) a mindset. So often what a person gets out of a conversation or a movie or an event is really what they brought to it. I work with this guy who is pretty narrow-minded about a lot of things. He hates all foreigners, gays, democrats, Muslims, Jews, and a number of actors who have in one way or another offended him. He gripes a lot. He isn't conservative in the religious sense, though. His mannerisms and practices in his personal life are rather loose. He thinks porn is an ok thing, and he swears nearly every ten words. Set all this aside, and he is a nice guy. He's helpful. He is thoughtful when it comes to others. And he works hard. But if I were to share with him any of my feelings on the subject of religion, or how I like people of other countries he'd shut down the conversation. My experience just does not fit in his mindset.

Here's another example. There's this movie reviewer who almost always gives bad reviews to films I love. Also, the films he tends to rate high are the films I never want to see. It took me a bit to realize that this reviewer was rating on his taste rather than quality or viewer enjoyment. In fact, I found it helpful to check out films he gave bad reviews to because I knew it was likely I'd love them. So, in a way, after understanding his paradigm, I could negotiate around it to find what it was that I wanted.

Ok, a third example. A lot of people who see themselves as open-minded tend to be actually really closed-minded when it comes to religion and 'traditional' modesty. There is this knee-jerk response of revulsion, in fact. The truth is, when anyone quickly rejects something without listening to all the reasons for that particular idea/belief/behavior it is a sign of a set view on 'how things ought to be'. I think whenever we simply decide "things must be this way" without listening (really listening) to the other point of view or being open to the possibility of being wrong or at least mildly mistaken, we are not open-minded at all. We are set in a paradigm.

So, paradigm. Be aware that you all have one.