Motherhood and Womanhood is a Lot More Complicated than You Realize.

Ok, in the previous post I addressed the priesthood within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. But it has been my experience that most people get out of a discourse what they bring to it. That is to say, a person who chooses to be anti something will be anti something regardless of whether it is true, or good, or wonderful, or not. So, since I cannot (and for that matter should not) control the wills and thoughts of others, I can only present what I believe and know.

So, first off, I left the statement in the last blog that the priesthood is not a scepter, and not a club, but is an apron. And that women do not NEED the priesthood because we have our own apron. And that apron is Motherhood. I also mentioned that in our day and age, Motherhood had been degenerated, vilified, and treated as a form of slavery. For the record... this is a BIG FAT LIE.

I'll say it again, Motherhood is not slavery. It is not a burdensome task. It is not a lesser calling for simple-minded women. It is the most important job any woman can undertake.



The thing is, Motherhood is not glamorous.
It is not a career.
You don't get fancy clothes, or accolades, or big prestigious awards for being an ordinary mom.
But it is an important job which is highly underappreciated.

From an excerpt from Women's Conference April 2015, a story was told about a mother who ended up reminding children on career day that the job of Mother is very important.

It says:

"Our youngest daughter, Abby, saw a unique opportunity to stand as a defender of the role of mother. One day she got a notice from her children’s school that they were having Career Day presentations at the school. Parents were invited to send in an application if they wanted to come to school to teach the children about their jobs, and Abby felt impressed to apply to come and speak about motherhood. She didn’t hear back from the school, and when Career Day was getting close, she finally called the school, thinking they may have lost her application. The organizers scrambled around and found two teachers who agreed to have Abby come talk to their classes at the end of Career Day.

 

In her very fun presentation to the children, Abby taught them, among other things, that as a mother she needed to be somewhat of an expert in medicine, psychology, religion, teaching, music, literature, art, finance, decorating, hair styling, chauffeuring, sports, culinary arts, and so much more. The children were impressed. She finished by having the children remember their mothers by writing thank-you notes expressing gratitude for the many loving acts of service they received daily. Abby felt that the children saw their mothers in a whole new light and that being a mother or father was something of great worth. She applied to share again this year at Career Day and was invited to present to six classes."

 
And she added:
"Abby has said of her experience: “I feel like it could be easy in this world for a child to get the sense that being a parent is a secondary job or even sometimes a necessary inconvenience. I want every child to feel like they are the most important priority to their parent, and maybe telling them how important being a parent is to me will help them realize all that their parents do for them and why.” "

Motherhood is culturally undervalued today for a number of reasons, I think. I am going to list the reasons and rant a little bit.

1. The story of Eve in the Bible is misunderstood, as has been for quite a long time.

Eve is not Evil. Never was. Nowhere in the Bible does it actually say: "Eve, in her sinister nature as woman, plotted the misery and demise of human kind with the devil." Nowhere. But for a long time people have interpreted Eve being the first to partake of the fruit and then share it with Adam as a sign she was evil.

First off (and understand this) both Adam and Eve were as innocent as a couple of two-year-olds. Eventually they would have partaken of the fruit, tempted by the devil or not. And why, because it was there. And being innocent, not knowing the difference between good and evil, and being given such a basic charge as: 16The LORD God commanded the man, saying, "From any tree of the garden you may eat freely; 17but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die." And not something like: "You will be damned forever and make the world miserable if you eat the fruit, so never touch it!"  they are going to eventually eat from it anyway.

Why? Have you ever tried to talk to a 2-year-old? They aren't adults, you know. If you tell a 2-year-old something is hot and will hurt them (but they had yet to experience pain of getting burned), they are going to touch it anyway BECAUSE THEY WANT TO.

The thing with the story of Adam and Eve is there is so much reading between the lines about the couple rather than just looking at the facts.

Here are the facts:

• Fact 1: If God really did not want the tree ever touched then he would not have put it in close proximity of two innocent people who did not know the difference between good and evil.
• Fact 2: There are no kids mentioned ever with Adam and Eve before they partook of the fruit. So it was just those two in the garden.
• Fact 3: There is no visible timeline in the story of Adam and Eve telling how long they were in the garden of Eden. And since there was no death until after the partaking of the fruit, who knows how long it took for them to even look at the tree after eating fruit from all the other trees.
• Fact 4: Eve, who was as innocent as a 2-year-old, was deceived by the most talented con man in existence when she was told she would not surely die. It was a half-truth. She did not die in the moment, which was the truth, but she did surely die later. Eve is, after all, not alive today.
• Fact 5: There is not mention in the Bible that Eve forced the fruit down Adam's throat. Nor any mention that she lied to him. Nor any mention that she threatened him. Nor any mention that she bullied him. All it says is: "And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat." So unless Adam was a complete and total moron, he made a choice to eat the fruit. Because, have you ever tried to force a 2-year-old to eat something he didn't want to eat. They can be willful.
• Fact 6: There is no mention in the Bible that Adam slapped, beat, shouted at, or berated Eve for giving him the fruit, once he finally had knowledge of good and evil. But there is proof that they did everything TOGETHER afterwards, expelled from the garden together, and working together.
• Fact 7: People often read in a tone in Adam's answer to God when asked if he ate of the fruit, making it sound accusatory. But tones are in the reader's heads, not in the print. You could read it in a matter-of-fact tone, like a report, also. He was just giving the facts when he said: "And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat."
• Fact 8: Eve's answer was also just telling the truth. But people still read into it accusatory tone from God when he asks her: "And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat." Tones are not in the writing, but in the minds of the reader. You'll also notice, if you continue reading, God is basically seeking out the source of the problem.
• Fact 9: There is a lot more going on in the story of Adam and Eve than people get. For example, this statement:"And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed; he shall bruise your head, and you shall bruise his heel." means what? Why not the seed of the man? Who is this he, whom God is talking about?
• Fact 10: Human beings see pain as punishment. But what they don't understand is that in order to know Joy, you must have Pain. Just as in order to understand Good, you need to know what Evil is. Adam and Eve were innocent in the garden of Eden because they did not have the dichotomy of good and evil in their comprehension. Therefore there was no progression for humanity. If they had not eaten of the fruit, the world would have remained the same -- forever. With just one man. And with just one woman. Forever.

• Fact 11: We should thank Adam and Eve for making the choice to partake of the fruit. Yes, we are born into a life of pain. But as it has been said: NO PAIN, NO GAIN.

• That's right, you have to have pain in order to grow. It is, in essence, part of the package. So, it is quite possible that God was not in fact inflicting punishment on Adam and Eve when he mentioned the painful things they would have to go through as part of life, but giving them a heads up on what to expect from life thereon, now that they knew the difference between good and evil.
• So yes, the woman will have pain in childbirth -- a thing which she had never experience before. Both pain, and childbirth. Yes, her situation put her where she now 'ruled by' her husband. (I'd also like to note, however, that the passage in the LDS scriptures, The Pearl of Great Price, in the Book of Moses, the story is not so harsh.) Though to be honest, the way I see it is that since Eve took the first step towards eternal progression by bringing birth of the rest of the human race to the world, it was Adam's turn to lead.
• And Adam will have to work hard and eat by the sweat of his brow. And yeah, it does sound like a punishment. Except for one thing... The phrase: "For thy sake" always gets to me (look at the King James version, not the other translations). I realize other interpretations say "because of you", but I often wonder if this is not a mistranslation. The phrase "for thy sake" in the old English can also mean "for your benefit." And why is working hard and struggling for your upkeep a benefit? Think about it. Think long and hard. People who work hard are just plain awesome. Heroes, really. And the opposite? people who expect to be spoon-fed without lifting a finger are vile, repulsive things. Besides, You don't get strong without some exertion.

      Just sayin'.

So, basically, people have vilified one of the most important female figures of the world. In doing so, created a negativity towards womanhood and motherhood.   

 2. The world worships Materialism, and does not value the intangible things or the unglamorous things.
 
This is why teachers are paid so badly. This is why necessary jobs like cleaning and garbage removal are not valued. This is why small farms will never really thrive against Big Food. There is no glory in it. That, and there is no power behind it.

Glory and accolades have overshadowed true service and enduring love (this is not romantic love, by the way). In a materialistic world, doing 'thankless jobs' that deal with the disgusting parts of life are disdained. Of course, dealing with poop, drool, and vomit is not glamorous. And cleaning house is sneered at. 'Watching' children is huffed at. But all these are more necessary for human survival than coming up with economic plans and saving some obscure rare animal or plant. Or, as I like to put it: "When the bomb blows, what will matter most?"

3. The world confuses being neutral with being neutered...

There has been a trend that is anti-procreation for a while. Children have been set into the mold of accessories, commodities, play things, and irritating burdens on society. Some people are even trying to promote abortion as a crime-deterrent.

Thing is, children are not the property of government. They are not the property of parents either. They are individuals entrusted into the hands of parents by God to be raised as well as they can be.

Also, sex in our day is being regarded no longer for procreation, but for satisfying desire, urges, and leanings. It is no longer about the binding of two halves of human society into a healthy whole, but about gratification and lust. And more and more people don't care who or what the sex is between... which is kinda gross.

4. And society confuses being neutral with being fair.

There is this nutty trend toward removing differences...especially between genders. This, of course, is stupid. It is like destroying all the flowers so there is only one kind in existence - to make all flowers the same. Men are not women. Women are not men. We are compliments to each other, but not clones of each other. We do not need all the same things. Human  beings as a group may have general needs that are shared throughout, such as: respect, freedom, love, compassion, time, and basic life necessities. But a woman does not need to show that she is capable and strong by having a career. Smart, capable women are strong in many other ways. A career is only necessary if that is the only way to survive life. And a man does not have to like romances, be overtly emotional, or chat just for the sake of conversation. Men and women don't even communicate for the same purpose. Don't believe me? Check this clip out. It shows the differences between communication styles.
Men are problem solvers. Task oriented, mostly. You get a few chatty ones, occasionally, but most have a goal in mind when talking. Women share emotions, vent, and really aren't seeking advice... unless they directly ask for it.




Being fair is not about being the same. It is about getting what you truly need.

5. People who want to maintain power don't really want mothers and fathers raising healthy, independent-thinking children. They want total control -- and that means raising the children by the state for the sake of 'Social Order'.

And what kind of social order is that? To create cogs in the system. Or Bricks in the Wall. A Camazotz, like in a Wrinkle in Time. By shaming women who stay home with their children, making them feel worthless and trapped, they set up the circumstance where women willingly leave their own territory of important influence, and go out to become yet another cog within the system. And by doing so, are unable to pass along many values she personally cares about to her children. It is social manipulation, and cruel.

It is also short sighted. Such societies do not thrive. Don't believe me? Try remembering the Soviet Union. Or North Korea. State control and the manipulation of the young tends to lead to a loss of creativity and a crashing economy. It brings to mind a scene from "The Last Emperor."


I lived in Tianjin for a while, and I heard firsthand how awful the living conditions were. Not just health-wise, but the degree of fear they felt. I read local stories written about the damage caused by those who followed Mao's Red Book. The Cultural Revolution. They called it the decade of insanity.

6. What makes a woman a woman has been redefined over and over again by the media so that women feel really lost and insecure.

As social creatures, women tend to try to please. We try not to stand out too much so that other women like us. Because, women do need women. Female society is important for women. But when people pleasing, women are victims to fashion trends... and I don't just mean clothes. I mean what is fashionable in: attitude, belief, and what is considered likeable. Women tend to focus on clothing fashion mostly because they instinctively know men are visual creatures. Women who do not stand up for themselves are easily bullied into believing things that she really does not want to think.

This may especially go with the new pro-porn trend among some feminists. Due to peer pressure, some women sext, thinking it will improve their relationships...when all they have done is exposed themselves in a dangerous public manner. She has turned herself into a piece of meat and ignorantly calls it freedom. All due to fear at not looking 'open minded'. If open minded is synonymous with idiot then maybe she is right. Feminism used to be about being taken seriously for ideas, for capabilities, and for being human.

That said, there is this funky social trend that makes a woman the sum of her parts. And I mean body parts. This trend is about flat abs, big breasts, little thighs, perfect hair, skinny waists, clear skin, perfect hair, teeth, etc.... 

There is another funky social trend that says women must wear barely anything to be loved or regarded as beautiful. The 'Sexy' trend really annoys me. Clothes serve a function. One of them is to maintain respect. It is hard to respect a woman half-dressed. Men don't dress that way to get respect. They wear full suits, for pity's sake. Besides, seeing half-naked women makes me think of the Ferengi from Star Trek who are materialists and keep all their women 'unclothed'. If men wore the same degree of clothing most women today wear, we'd all be grossed out.


a father  proving a point.

Things you might not understand about Womanhood in the Church of Jesus Christ...

1. Joseph Smith, our first modern-day prophet, himself declared that the church was not fully organized until after the formation of the Relief Society--our organization for women.

Fact is, the Relief Society is the oldest, longstanding women's organization in the world. In fact, they were part of the National Organization for Women in its early conceptions. LDS women had the vote long before most other women in the US did. But it was taken away through the Edmunds Tucker Act when the church was disenfranchised by the U.S. government over polygamy. And they  were suffragettes afterward. Early LDS women ran businesses and headed newspapers. (a few examples here).

And, to be honest, if you really want to get something done, or if you really need help in the church, you go to the Relief Society president first. Then I go to the bishop. The Relief Society acts as a team, because women are more social than men.

2. True Christianity is not anti-women. Quite the reverse.

Tradition, more than truth, has colored religious practice for centuries. in regards to stories about women. Jesus Christ when on Earth had acted outside the degrading disregard towards women in his era and treated women well. But also, there are many references to strong, faithful women in the Bible. Those that actually read the Bible know this.

I think there is this amazing passage in Proverbs that shows the strength and power of righteous women. Proverbs 31... starting with verse 10 :
(I like the King James version).

"Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar. She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard. She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates."

 And, in our faith, we often like to repeat that Jesus appeared to Mary first for a reason. Women are important.

To sum up...

Womanhood is not about her hormones. Or her sexual organs. Or her mood swings. Or her makeup, or sexy clothes. It is not a chosen fashion sense. It is not a love for shopping. It is not a waify figure. It is not a caricature.

Womanhood is about life. It is about kindness. It is about compassion. It is about connectivity. It is about 'we' more than 'I'. It is about beauty. Making beauty. Spreading beauty. It is about patience. It is about humility. It is about nurturing. It is about growth. It is about strength. It is about endurance. It is about teaching others. It is about sharing.

Motherhood is about the God-given responsibility to raise children into healthy, capable adults. It is about the ability to soften men when they are too task-oriented. It is about wholeness and completion.

Career-seeking is a modern insult to womanhood.

Why am I saying this? Because, long ago, before people put on fancy suits and got accolades for a job well done, work was invented to provide sustenance for the family unit...long before earthly governments had formed. Long before slavery was instituted. Motherhood was not slavery. It was a selfless gift of service and devotion to those whom she loved. Simple work was never meant to be an end in and of itself--not even for men. Fatherhood was supposed to be their calling. Work was just work. Not an identity. To drop something as sacred as Motherhood for something so common as a career is insulting.

Now I am sure there are those complaining that I am not being fair to all the single women out there. But that is entirely untrue. Fair does not mean everyone gets the same thing, remember. It means you get what you need. It also means a reasonable opportunity to obtain what is available... because, face it, there is not enough good men to go around. Period. Secondly, life is a test of character. It tests to see if you will stick to truth, even if you don't get what everyone else is getting. And for the record, I'm single, in a job, making my life on my own.

In Conclusion:

The secret to womanhood and why men just don't 'get' women can be summed up in a line from a play "Skin Of Our Teeth. "We are ourselves."


Womanhood is not a fashion. It is not a culture. It is not an attitude, or a way of tilting our heads, or a color -- such as pink. It is not a lower status. It is not a higher status. It is half the species.

Motherhood is not a hobby. It is not slavery. It is a sacred calling. It is not easy. But it sometimes can be fun. And giving birth is not a requirement for motherhood either, though it helps. Seeking only self-gratification did no society or individual any good. Motherhood means accepting that you have a responsibility to others.

Anyway, enough ranting.

I'll rant more later.